I heard a story today that really touched my heart but at the same time made me so incredibly angry. There is a military spouse who is going through quite a few things right now and her husband has essentially abandoned her.
According to a few different sources who happen to be mutual friends of mine, the spouse suffers from severe depression. No one knows because she is able to really keep it hidden for the most part. Her husband has never been truly seen the negative affects of it. However, he saw it a few days ago when she felt so unloved that she threatened to kill herself. Understandably, he was very angry with her. I would be too. That is a serious and selfish thing to do. However, he took it to a whole new level and just completely told her he couldn’t support her and needed time to get over his anger before he could do anything.
So what did he do? He left her in TLF for days alone so she can sit and blame herself even more for her thoughts that she had, even though she didn’t go through with them. He went out to dinner with classmates and friends and never once asked her if she needed food or was hungry. Her final night in TLF she asked him to bring her something to eat because she was starving and he did. Great for him (notice my sarcasm). He refused to let her come to his graduation for a military accomplishment because as he put it “she was an embarrassment”. So what did she do? She waited in the lobby of TLF for FOUR HOURS all by herself until her husband decided to come get her and head home.
I dont condone her feeling the way she felt but I could definitely see how his actions could have potentially made things worse. He up and abandoned her when she needed his support the most. As I said in my last post, I take marriage vows very seriously. Our vows say “for better or for worse — through thick and thin”. I guess he just forgot all about those vows. And to further more aggravate me come to find out years before they met he contemplated the same thing and a friend of his had to stop him from shoving a gun down his throat!! So what makes him any different that he has to punish her for feelings THAT HE FELT YEARS PRIOR!!!! He is no better and clearly shouldn’t be judging and making things worse by abandoning her.
You don’t up and walk away when things get hard. You stay and find it within yourself to support someone. If my husband ever came to me and said he felt like he would do something like that, I would be so angry but I would work with him to show him he has no reason to make a selfish decision like that. I wouldn’t leave him in a hotel room, with no food, no car, and no one to lean on.
Shame on this husband for being so callous, evil and mean. If she is reading this blog ever I want you to know something — no matter what you’re going through in life don’t ever feel like you have to leave the earth to because you have no other way out. There are tons of people who are willing to be your support system and lift you up — me being one of them.
Until next time…..